Rainy Days Read online

  The news showed footage of Broad Street and Ash sighed. “Sorry, Michael.”

  “It’s just a house,” Michael shrugged. “It’s insured. I dunno, I figured I would feel worse seeing it like that, but perhaps it stopped being my home a long time ago.”

  Ash slipped his arm around Michael. “What are you going to do? Taryn and Michelle will need somewhere to live when they come back.”

  “We’ll get a trailer, or emergency housing, or something. Come on, we should get ready for work. He headed to the shower and Ash followed. Even Ash’s gentle touch and the kisses he planted on his back didn’t seem to lift his melancholy mood. Ash felt it too and didn’t push further.

  Michael stepped out of the shower and dressed. His cellphone rang and he picked it up.

  “Oh my God,” Michelle said. “You’re safe! I saw our house on the news! Did you get everything onto the third floor?”

  “Yeah,” Michael said. “Ash helped me out. I’m staying at his place. I’m sorry, Michelle. I couldn’t stay with the rising water.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “How’s Taryn?”

  “She misses you.”

  “Well, I have to go,” Michael said. “Tell Taryn I love her. I have to get to work.”

  “Take care. Love you.”

  “Love you too,” Michael muttered. “Bye.” He hung up. Ash was behind him, resting his head on his shoulder and listening in.

  “At least she’s not blaming you.”

  “True enough.”

  “Maybe you should go and join her,” Ash said. “Taryn misses you.”

  “No way. Michelle’s mom hates me. Unless you want me gone, that is.”

  “Nope,” Ash said. “I want to keep you here forever. But it’s not just about me.” He kissed Michael's neck and backed off. Michael pulled on fresh clothes he’d brought from his house and packed a lunch from Ash’s fridge.

  “Let’s go.” Michael led the way down to his car. He drove down to the main road and gingerly braved the deep puddles that covered the road surface. The water levels only seemed to rise as they reached the bridge, where the river loomed large and grey, water lapping onto the concrete.

  “Don’t risk it,” Ash said. “You drive through that and we could stall. It’s too deep.”

  “It’s just a little bit of water. It’ll be fine.” Michael raced forward. Ash looked outside and to his horror saw a large crack in the bridge as the roaring waters battered the old concrete structure.

  “We have to go back!” Ash said. “Michael, the bridge is going to get swept away!” They hit a large puddle of water and the car stalled.

  “Damn it!” Michael cursed.

  “Get out of the car!” Ash said. “Come on, we have to go!” He got out and started to run. Michael tried to start the car, but it refused to budge. He opened the door and got out just as the bridge crumbled. The water raced over him and water filled all of his senses as he was swept away.

  “MICHAEL!” Ash screamed. He turned back. Part of the bridge was torn away. The current will suck me under and kill me for sure, Ash realized. I can’t leave him. I have nothing else. Nothing in this world matters more to me than him. He jumped into the water, the heavy current fighting to pull him under as he grabbed a piece of wood.

  “Michael!” Ash yelled out, trying to get a fix on Michael’s position. He saw Michael fighting to cling to a small piece of wood, the current sucking him under. He’s drowning. “Michael, I’m coming! Hang on!” He fought the current to swim closer to Michael. I won’t let anything happen to you. I won’t. His feelings gave him a surge of strength and he finally reached Michael, holding him above the water.

  “I’ve got you.” Ash held onto Michael with all his strength. Michael was coughing up water as they floated downriver. Ash fought to get them closer to the riverbank, his muscles screaming with the effort, his entire body’s energy spent as he clawed for solid ground and eventually found it. He pulled them up onto sodden mud. An angry cut on Michael’s head was bleeding.

  Michael coughed up water as Ash gasped for breath. “It’s a good job you didn’t get knocked out, or you would have drowned for sure,” Ash put his hand on Michael’s trembling arm. “Come on, we’ve got to get you to the hospital.”

  “You saved my life.” Michael was gasping for breath, his lungs on fire. “You could have...”

  “Drowned? Yeah, I thought about that,” Ash said, pulling Michael close to him. “The alternative was letting you drown, and I wasn’t going to let that happen.”

  “Thanks,” Michael was shivering and trembling at the same time. Ash stood up and helped him to his feet.

  “My car...” Michael realized the loss of his vehicle and hung his head.

  “Sorry,” Ash said. He helped Michael up the hill to the road, where emergency services were converging. Despite his protestations, Ash led Michael to a waiting ambulance.

  “You were swept from the bridge? It’s amazing you survived,” the EMT said. “Here, let me patch that up.” He cleaned Michel’s cut. “We should take you to the hospital, make sure you don’t have a serious head injury. You’ll need stitches for that at the very least.”

  “No, I don’t want to make a big fuss...” Michael protested.

  “I don’t want to be the nagging wife here, but you’re going,” Ash said. “Please, Michael. I want to make sure you’re not hurt.”

  “All right.” Michael lay down on a stretcher and Ash sat in the back of the ambulance as they raced to the hospital.

  Michael grabbed Ash’s hand. “I’ll never forget what you did for me today. I would have died without you. I’m sorry I didn’t listen.”

  “Don’t be sorry,” Ash said. “I’m just glad you’re alive. I didn't jump into the river for you. I did it for me. I did it because I don’t know what I would do without you.”

  “I’m gonna leave her,” Michael whispered, his throat tight. “I’ve made up my mind.” He squeezed Ash’s hand. “After Taryn’s birthday, I’m going to tell Michelle it’s over. That I want a divorce.”

  “How are you going to explain our relationship?”

  “I don’t know yet,” Michael said. “All I know is that I want to be with you. I don’t want anything to stand between us any more. I don’t need any more time. I know we belong together.”

  They reached the hospital and Michael was wheeled in on a stretcher. Ash was offered a blanket and some dry scrubs and sat sipping a cup of coffee in the waiting area as the doctors ran tests on Michael. He’s going to leave Michelle. The realization sunk in and Ash smiled. He wants to be with me. He sighed as he thought about Taryn. There’s going to be a lot of heartache for that little girl. Heartache that I caused.

  Michael emerged from a room, smiling. “I’ve got a clean bill of health,” he said, pulling a blanket tightly around him. “Well, except for this.” He pointed at his stitched-up cut. “I know I got off lucky. Thanks to you.”

  “I guess I’ll call a cab, then,” Ash said. “Since you don’t have a car any more.”

  “I should have listened to you. I put you in danger.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” Ash said. “You’re safe. Nothing else matters.” He called for a taxi on his cellphone and they waited in the lobby, sitting together on a bench until their ride arrived. They climbed into the taxi and returned to Ash’s apartment, winding around all the non-flooded back roads. The taxi driver gave them a curious glance as they paid and climbed out.

  “He’s onto us,” Michael watched as the car drove away.

  “I’m sure he is. Everybody will be, soon enough. People will talk, and as soon as you leave Michelle, the whole town’s going to know our business.”

  “That’s true,” Michael said, looking down at the ground. Then he looked back up at Ash, his brown eyes meeting Ash’s blue ones. “I still want to do it. I’m not scared of them.”

  Michael’s hand met Ash’s face and Ash pulled him into a sheltered doorway, kissing him passionately as the rain fell
around them.

  “Let’s go up to your apartment,” Michael said. They crossed the street and headed into the parking lot, taking the elevator up to Ash’s floor. Ash fumbled with his keys as he opened the apartment door. Ash tossed his keys on the counter as Michael pinned him to the wall, shutting the door with his foot and kissing Ash, pressing his tongue into Ash’s mouth as he felt for Ash’s crotch. Ash moaned and they both shed the borrowed scrubs quickly, making their way into the bedroom.

  “I should call work,” Ash said. “I should tell them what happened.”

  “It can wait half an hour,” Michael said, pulling Ash down onto the bed. Ash smiled, kissing down Michael’s chest.

  “It sure can.” Ash reached Michael’s cock and took it into his mouth. Michael gasped and looked at him with an expression of desire and love and Ash looked down at what he was doing. I can’t let myself believe that he might actually leave Michelle, Ash thought. It’s too much to hope for. Too much to believe that we might actually be able to build a life together. I’m sure he wants to leave her now, when she’s so far away and I pulled him from the water, but how long will it last before Taryn and Michelle come back and tug at his heart strings?

  Ash worked Michael’s cock with his mouth before Michael tensed and came. Ash moved up to lie next to Michael. “Ash, what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing’s wrong,” Ash said. “Don’t worry.”

  “I can tell when you’re lying. Come on. Out with it.”

  “I’m scared to believe that you’ll actually leave her,” Ash admitted. “I want it so much that I’m afraid it won’t happen.” He looked down at his hands. “I know I’m selfish. Michelle and Taryn stand to get hurt and all I’m thinking about is myself.”

  “Ash, I know I’ve broken promises before but I mean this one, I swear it.” Michael said. “Don’t worry about Taryn and Michelle. They’re my responsibility. That’s not your burden to bear.”

  “I’m the one wrecking a home,” Ash sighed. “I can’t help but feel guilty about that.”

  “You’re not,” Michael said. “I am. I’m the one who cheated on my wife. I’m the one leaving my family. You were a single man when I met you. I could have pushed you away and said no, but I didn’t want to. I was the one who started it. I should have been honest a lot sooner.” He turned Ash’s face to look at him. “Ash, listen to me. I want to be with you. I want to do this. Just trust me. Please.”

  “I trust you. I trust you know what you’re doing.” He leaned his head in until it was touching Michael’s. “I love you, Michael. I’m just scared, okay?”

  “It’s understandable. I hurt you before. There’s so much on the line. I’m scared myself, Ash.” Ash rested Michael’s head on his chest and they sat in silence, the rest of their doubts and fears unspoken.

  Chapter Nineteen

  The Weight Of The World

  Michael’s heart felt heavy as he stepped into the trailer that was to be his new home. Michelle saw the look on his face and mistook it for disappointment.

  “It’s not that bad,” she said. “Yeah, it needs a little dusting, but we’ll make it our own in no time.”

  That’s not it, Michael thought. The truth is, I’ll be abandoning you and Taryn here in this shitty little trailer park. I’ll have a home with warm arms to comfort me while you two suffer. It doesn’t seem right, but I made a promise. If I break it now, I’ll lose Ash forever.

  “It’s just a little more run-down then I had imagined.”

  “It’s only until the insurance company assesses the damage to our house and makes us an offer. Then we can fix up the house and start again.”

  “I guess,” I won’t be around to help with that. I’ll be long gone. Michael closed his eyes and brought in another box of their belongings from Michelle’s car.

  “We couldn’t stay in the house,” Michelle said. “Not with all that flood damage. I won’t let Taryn get exposed to mold.”

  “I know. I get it, it’s okay. It’s just a little cramped in here, that’s all.”

  “I don’t like it either,” Michelle said. “I worry about Taryn socializing with the people who live here. That old man who lives across from us gives me the creeps.”

  Michael rolled his eyes to himself and unpacked the box he was holding. “I’m sure he’s okay. Don’t freak out about the neighbors.”

  “I saw him kissing another man. I don’t want that kind of pervert around our daughter.”

  Michael felt his heart skip a beat, a sinking feeling hitting his gut like a sucker punch. He wanted to act as though Michelle hadn’t opened her mouth, but the comment stung him like a thousand wasps. A breath caught in his throat and Michael felt like he was choking until he let it out in a heavy sigh.

  “Don’t judge people, Michelle. So what if he is seeing another man? It’s none of our business.”

  “I just don’t want Taryn thinking something like that is normal,” Michelle said.

  Michael felt the knife of words twist in his gut. She’ll never let me see Taryn. I can see it now. She’s going to stand up in court and proclaim I’m a pervert to the whole world, and I’ll have to bear it if I want to be with Ash. He swallowed the lump in his throat and changed the subject.

  “So, what are we doing for Taryn’s birthday?”

  “I don’t think we can really do anything this year,” Michelle said. “We don’t even have a home right now.”

  “All the more reason to do something special. She’s been so good through all these changes. She deserves to know that even if we’re stressed, she’s still on our minds.”

  “What did you have in mind?”

  “A party,” Michael said. “Here at the trailer. We can invite her friends from school and any kids in the park here. It’ll be a good way for her to make some new friends.” It’ll be the last birthday I ever spend with her. I have to make it memorable. The lump in his throat returned and he turned back to the box, busying himself with unwrapping.

  “That might not be a bad idea. Okay, I’ll see what I can set up.”

  They worked on unpacking until darkness fell. “I’m going back to the house to get some more stuff,” Michael said. “I’ll probably visit Taryn while I’m in town as well. She’s probably asking Mom and Dad all kinds of questions.”

  “Well, the sooner we get this done, the sooner we can bring her home. I’m probably going to settle down for the night. Don’t be up too late, okay?” She kissed him briefly and headed to her room.

  Michael took Michelle’s car and drove to his parents’ house, speeding all the way. The flood waters had receded, leaving the town looking like a dirty shipwreck. Trash and silt lined the streets and an emergency bridge had been constructed to allow people in and out of the city. Michael felt a chill down his spine as he remembered being swept into the cold water. If it wasn’t for Ash, I would have drowned. I owe him my life. I have to leave Michelle. He’s given me everything and this is the only thing I can do in return.

  He pulled onto a side street and climbed a steep hill. His parents’ house sat on the corner and he pulled in, getting out and heading inside.

  “Daddy!” Taryn rushed up to him and Michael scooped her up in his arms, letting her go reluctantly.

  “Hi, sweetheart.”

  “Daddy, when can I come home?”

  “Well, we have a new home for a while. I promise you can see it soon, okay?”

  “I’m excited!” Taryn said. Michael’s mom walked over and took Taryn’s hand.

  “Come on, young lady, it’s past your bedtime.” She led Taryn upstairs and Michael’s dad walked into the room.

  “Come and have a beer with me,” Michael’s dad said. Michael followed him through the kitchen and out onto the back porch. “You look like you could take a load off.” He handed Michael a cold beer.

  “I have to drive home.”

  “Just one,” Michael’s dad said. “For me. I hate to see you looking so stressed out. Talk to me, son. I’m your dad. You can tell me an
ything.”

  Michael laughed, a small derisive sound that Michael’s dad picked up on. “You think there’s something you can’t tell me? Come on, hit me with it.”

  Michael shook his head. “Dad, you have no idea. Things have been seriously messed up lately.”

  “I figured you and Michelle are having problems. I heard you were seeing a marriage counselor.”

  “Michelle spilled, huh? Yeah, we were for a bit. Didn’t really work out.” He shook his head. “Dad, I wish I could tell you everything, but if I did you would never look at me again. So just understand that there are some things that you don’t want to know.”

  “You’re having an affair.” Michael’s dad said with a knowing voice. “I did wonder. Michelle said you were often late home from work on the phone. I told her you were visiting us most evenings. Michael, I’m on your side. I want to help you. But you have to tell me everything.”

  Michael leaned on the railing. “Dad, I’m in such a mess. It’s not just an affair. It’s not just something simple. I’m not screwing some two-bit whore for kicks. I’ve gone and fallen in love.”

  “Oh.” Michael’s dad’s voice was a little surprised. “What are you going to do?”

  “I want to leave Michelle,” Michael said, “but I’m so scared. Michelle will never let me see Taryn again if I walk out on her. I love my daughter, Dad. What should I do?”

  “People get divorced a lot nowadays. If you go to court there’s a good chance you’ll at least get custody of Taryn on the weekends.”

  “No,” Michael looked at his feet. “No, I won’t. You don’t understand.”

  “Then help me understand. Michael, you will always be my son. There’s nothing in the world that could change that. So talk to me. Tell me what you think is so terrible that you can’t tell a soul.”

  “I’m in love with another man. I always knew there were these feelings inside of me. I just didn’t want to let everyone down, so I got married and had a family. Now it’s all crumbling. I can’t live the lie any longer. I’ve never loved anybody like I love Ash. Well, except Taryn, but that’s a different kind of love.”